Friday, November 9, 2007

People think I'm crazy

People who know me well know that I have certain completely irrational and random fears: swimming in deep water when I don't know what's under me; throwing up; grating my skin with a cheese grater; being in a plane crash; insects; insects feasting on my flesh; me being inside my house when it explodes from a massive gas leak; somehow cutting my eyeballs...I'll stop here to keep from further embarrassment.

Well, one of these fears has been realized: tonight my grip on the Parmesan cheese slipped and I grated my thumb and pinky on my right hand.

I have a few things to say about the matter:
  1. Ow.
  2. It won't stop bleeding.
  3. Ewwwww.
  4. OW.
  5. It wasn't quite as awful as I had imagined, though it is pretty awful if I stop and think about it for too long.
  6. See numbers 1, 2 and 4.
And since you were wondering, I was using the "extra coarse" grater.

Seriously, though, I should just sit quietly on my couch not touching anything for a few days. Last night, after finally finding the time to get my humidifier ready for use, the (full) water tank slipped out of my hands, fell to the floor and shattered, flooding my bedroom with about 4 gallons of water. The sound of water pouring down into my heat vent (and realizing that my feet were soaked) pulled me out of my did-what-I-think-just-happened-happen reverie, and I spent the next half hour using every extra bed sheet and towel I own mopping up the mess.

Please add "bed falling through rotted-out hardwood floor into basement while I sleep" to my list of irrational fears.

So it's no surprise that all of my equipment only started working today as soon as I left the lab, and that when I came home tonight I made like the Romans did with Rabbi Akiva. The pinky is oh-so much worse off than the thumb. I actually have ice on it trying to get it to stop bleeding.

Apparently the universe thinks that getting a PROMOTION and an excellent raise is adequate to balance out all of the above insanity, and I have to say that I'm inclined to agree.

Please excuse me while I wrap myself up in padding and sit in the middle of my couch watching TV. I can't even risk finishing my book for fear of unnatural papercuts or freak spontaneous combustion of ink.

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