Letter to my upstairs neighbors

Dear Neighbors,

I always thought our apartments were well sound-proofed. Not once did I hear your predecessors walking around upstairs, nor did I ever hear their television or their baby crying. But you moved in and that all changed.

You bought a new sound system a few months ago (oh black day, darkest day, and damn you, UPS, for delivering such a thing!). Ever since I have been welcomed home every evening to, what I can only imagine to be, the same exact movie. Either that, or you're obsessed with sounds of the apocalypse. It's true, you do mix it up now and again with extremely loud music, but for the most part I feel like I'm sitting on a porch in Oklahoma, listening to the thunder as it rolls in. Or possibly an earthquake. I can sit here practically conducting the next low rumble. "And cue the left speaker...and...REAR SPEAKER! Lightly, lightly now..."

Why why why why why?!
wiseacre photo

Just one night, please! One quiet night! That's all I ask for. And for you to get your speakers up off the floor. Oh, and for you to once -- just once! -- take care of the newspapers. And possibly start using that green box we like to call a recycling bin. That is all.

Thanks,
The Bibliophile