Monday, June 18, 2007

B says: "Preserving the Devil? Is this necessary?"

My friend B has a thing about squirrels. She HATES them. No, hate is not a strong enough word. She calls them Devil's Spawn. If I were a better friend I would have accepted this knowledge and let it go. But...I'm not that kind. I think it's hilarious, and so I do things like give her a squirrel card every year on her birthday. I'll randomly send her pictures of squirrels gleaned from The Internets. I send her this:

Yes, it's a "semi-aquatic rodent." She barfed a little in her mouth (and probably just did, seeing the picture again -- the only thing worse than a picture of a squirrel is a picture of a wet squirrel, or rodent, in this case). Her Aunt, who is now my hero, pasted little pictures of squirrels up all over her bedroom about a month ago, with text bubbles that read things like: "don't hate me because I'm furry!"; "we need to talk"; "I'm just as God made me"; "I'm just like a bunny." Etc etc. Apparently B has only found nine so far, and there are *at least* a couple more lurking somewhere!

E mentioned albino squirrels at our last book group meeting, and immediately I had a plan: I knew that somewhere, somehow I would send B pictures of albino squirrels! With those beady, red eyes and fur as white as a driven snow...How much more devilish could they be?!

Tonight, while searching for more pictures of albino squirrels to use I stumbled across this. Please, click on the link. Really, you want to. The best part: they have a screed!


LibraryChristi said...

I think you should blow up this one and get it framed for her next birthday ;)

Anonymous said...

You know... there are lots of things I could imagine having their own website.... but I can guarantee you that Albino Squirrels is NOT one of them. And a creed?... who do these people think they are? Only crazy people have creeds and by-laws. :)

Mr. Book

Anonymous said...

So does the fact that a capybara is 4.5 feet long and up to 140 pounds a positive or negative? On the one hand, they are definitely less squirrel-like when scale is taken into account. On the other, I mean, really, we're talking about 140 lbs of wet rodent here... (they are Mr. K's favorite animal, so I know things like this...)

- K